I’m not sure how to start this post because I’ve never really had something like this happen before or especially in such a timely fashion.
If you are a friend then you know that I no longer have any relationship with my parents, brother or extended family. I will write all about why at a later time but for now, this was my decision – No one else’s. I ended my relations for my mental health and just to be able to breathe.
Shawn’s Mom and Grandma were his only family growing up even though he does come from a very large family. His mom and grandma were the black sheep of the family so he wasn’t raised around any of them. Both passed away about 12yrs ago (within 4 months of one another) so he has no one he considers family on his side.
Shawn and I now only consider our family Us, and the kids. I am much happier without any drama and unnecessary BS in my life. But it also means that Sebastian will never know his grandparents or Uncle.
Sam and Alex can have whatever relationships they want with the rest of our family as they grew up with them in their lives and we support them completely.
Anywho, this brings me to July 2019. I’d always wanted to get to know Dorothy and Rick better.
Something has always made me feel like there was more to them. A deeper connection or just something… I don’t know how else to describe it.
We’ve “known” them for 10yrs just mostly as people we’d see at Scentsy functions and we’d enjoy our short chats, go on our merry ways and then just sort of do the same thing each time.
When we were ready to head to Utah to see who we might want to visit or spend time with as we drove through, I immediately thought of them and asked if we could impose and stay with a few days.
Shawn even asked me if I knew them well enough to ask. I mean, he didn’t really know them that well and staying in someone’s home is pretty intimate. I said nope, not very well… But told him that I felt strongly that we needed to get to know them better.
I have a fantastic gut instinct. I trust it and myself and know that when I feel strongly about something or someone to follow them.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, Rick and Dorothy wondered if they knew us well enough to stay for several days as well. They were game though and had a big house they could probably hide from us in if they really wanted to and things were awkward.
That first night something happened. Call it fate or whatever but, I know that our lives are forever changed by our stay.
They had their daughter Myrissa, who is 14, there obviously and then had invited one of their sons Derrick and his wife Kelly and 2yr old daughter Hadley, as well as their older daughter Myranda and her husband Joe and 18 month old daughter Eden, over for dinner.
It was just so comfortable and seemed like we’d all known each other for years. We ALL bonded. I don’t know how else to describe it really other than to say that we all just felt instantly connected – like family. Seeing Sebastian connect with Hadley and Eden was so fun too.
Over the next few days our bonds and connections were deepened. We all found this really fantastic feeling of comfort and family.
Shawn feels like his connections to Dorothy and Rick are both parental and sibling. He isn’t that much younger than Rick but there is something very paternal about him. Shawn and Dorothy had some amazing moments together as well that made him just feel so “full”.
I have never said this in my entire life about anyone but I felt a sisterly connection to Dorothy. She felt the same way. We had an openness and connection that was so surprising and fantastic that we were both moved by it.
I’m not someone who needs a lot of friends. I’m very insular and like to keep just a handful of trusted people close. For me to feel like I have a sisterly connection with someone is a pretty big deal.
The same is true of Rick, Dorothy and Myrissa. We all formed these close connections and feelings of family. Shawn also felt a fast friendship with Joe, their son-in-law.
Shawn and I were moved to tears over Rick and Dorothy’s feelings toward Sebastian. They said they felt like Grandparents to him and we felt honored to have them be a part of his life in this way. We know that he needs to have grandparents and cousins and a family community around him.
One of the reasons we wanted to see and visit with certain people and families on our travels is to build stronger friendships and bonds and a Family community for ourselves but especially for Sebastian. There are people we already knew and liked and had good friendships with but we wanted to build deeper connections. We are feeling very fulfilled and believe our friends feel these connections with us as well.
Shawn and I both know that Family doesn’t have to be blood. I think most families have drama as well as trauma and broken ties. Some relationships are also amazing and when you can have open and honest relationships then nothing is better.
Shawn and I are so lucky to have super deep connections with both Sam and Alex and one day we hope Sebastian feels the same with all of us.
It might seem odd to some of you reading this that connections like these could happen or even be long lasting after a few days but it is what it is. We are Family.
I feel like an aunt to Myrissa. She reminds me so much of Alex. When they finally meet I just know they will bond. Also, Sam will hopefully meet them one day and when he does I know that he will love them them and they him.
I don’t say any of this lightly. For real. I’m not the kind of person to let my walls down easily or let people into my life so deeply or fast for sure. I’m very protective of my family and our kids.
Anyway, I’m so happy that my gut led us to the Thurman’s and that they accepted our imposition. They are all exceptional people and I’m so happy to call them family.