Powerball Jackpot Ticket

What we’d do if we won the Powerball Lottery tonight

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This is our list of what we’d want if we won the Powerball Jackpot Lottery tonight.  1.5 Billion Dollars could make any dream or wish come true if one person won it so we decided to make our lists just in case.  These are some of the stupid conversations we have all the time.  Here’s what we came up with:

Wendy
Taxes.  Pay them off from the past, the future, now, forever.  Get an account made just for taxes and fill it with money that will earn interest to pay taxes

Shawn
We are out of Beaver Tartar Sauce and I really want some for my salmon patty’s this week

Wendy
I need new underwear.  For some reason all the elastic just has fallen off the right leg so now, If I put my foot in wrong, it’s more complex to fix once fully dressed.

Shawn
I want a Torrah and a Bible because I’m really interested in religious studies.  A really badass torrah and bible though.  Like the originals because I got a billion dollars.  I want the Codex Sinaiticus.  BOO YAH

Wendy
I want a body lift.  All that friggin skin that waves around in a bathing suit since I had gastric bypass surgery 8 1/2 years ago sucks and I want to have a butt like Pamela Anderson when she was super hot on Baywatch but not tan because I’m super white.

Shawn
I want Fetty Wap’s Right eye.  It’s brown too.  WIN.

Wendy – Really?  Why would you want another guys eye?  Why not get some terminator cybernetic’s shit with the money instead of some guys used eye?

Shawn 
Just because I’d want it because I’d have enough money to buy another guys eye.

Wendy
I’d want the coolest most pimped out Tiny House on wheels that could turn into a plane and a boat.  Like I’d have a pilot and a boat captain to sail or fly it when we wanted but I could drive it myself when on land because I love to drive.

Shawn
I’d want a lifetime airline ticket with Virgin or like the super cool airlines with the best 1st class areas but not my own plane because upkeep is expensive.

Wendy
What? We’re billionaires.  Really, no plane of our own?

Daily massages.  I want thai massages every single day for all of us because the kids and I are cracking each others backs every single night and I want us to all have the luxury of having a professionals stretch us out and get us ready for bed.

Shawn
Oh, that’s a good one!

Lifetime supply of Carmex and Dollar Tree Q-Tips because they are better than Johnson and Johnson and are even cheaper.
Just because I won the lottery doesn’t mean I to pay for brand name.  OHHHH and Paper Towels.  A roll a day all to myself that no one can touch but me.

Wendy
To travel everywhere and not have to ever worry about where we are staying, what we can eat, if we need an interpreter we can afford to hire someone who speaks every single language, including some languages that like no one knows, so we can go everywhere safely and communicate.

Shawn
I want to travel too but I want to also buy a mountain and put a house inside of it.  A fully sustainable earth house that is super awesome and not made from aluminum cans like earth houses.

Wendy
I want and Earth Roamer because it’s super bad ass and I’ve wanted one for a long time and you’d never know that it was a awesome and luxurious fully functioning, off grid, living space inside it.  It’s a 1/2 a million for a normal one but I’d want one that is at least 2 million dollars and custom made so I can drive us everywhere and just like park wherever I wanted and that would be awesome

Shawn
I would build the worlds coolest wrap around cat house home that wraps around a mountain so they can always be safe but go anywhere they want around mountain and be safe from the bears and mountain lions.

Wendy
I would buy my parents and brother a huge compound right off the water somewhere with an underground tunnel so they could connect whenever they wanted but not go out in the bad weather because my parents are getting older and the weather in Washington can be crappy.  And then we could just park my Earth Roamer or tiny house on our section of the property or outside our Mountain and build a tunnel from our home to their compound.

Shawn 
a Robot or Andriod. The best android or robot that could be like Rosie from the Jetsons but not as frumpy.  She could bring me food, clean up after me, when I lose stuff she can track it for me.  She’s super intelligent and can answer all my questions better than Google

Wendy
I wouldn’t ever want to pack again.  Ever.  That would be done by others while I’m watching so I know what boxes everything is in because I would need to know that because I’m anal like that.

Shawn
I could buy one of the 7 wonders of the world like the great pyramid of Giza however I’ve never been there but maybe I’ll just see if I can spend the night inside of it and go from there.

Wendy
Well, if you are getting the Pyramid then I want to go to Stonehenge and see if there is any magical stuff really happening there and see if I can get some physics and mystics or whomever can make shit happen camp out with us to see how the stones really got there

Shawn
I would buy Eleanor from Gone in 60 Seconds.  Best car ever

And I want someone super duper smart.  The best money manager in the world to help us make great decisions.  This should actually be #1 on our list.

Wendy
It should!

I would want to get the best toilet and bathroom in the world.  Bathrooms are my happy place so I’d want the most comfy and cozy one ever made and no one could come in but me and no one could interrupt me while in there if I press a special sound barrier button that would have to be installed with it.

Shawn
like a secret room bathroom where you’d have to pull a book from the bookshelf like in scooby doo to reaveal the secret bathroom?

Wendy
Yup. Just like that.

Shawn
I think we both agree that we would have to buy Alex a Theatre and Sam a Dance Studio.

Wendy
And, I’d want them to find happiness and success always but not from the money, instead from not ever having to worry about money so they can just focus on what they love.

Wendy
I want a friggin camera that is in my eyes so when I see stuff like even just the food I make my eyes capture better what I want to post than any camera

Shawn
I want a field trip to the Google Campus doing a super secret tour seeing all the stuff they are working on now for the future.

Wendy
Speaking of that, I would really want to go to Area 51 and see the secret bunkers that we all know are there filled with Alien shit like in the movie Independence Day but not have them kill us and stuff.

Shawn
I want to be able to live on a cruise ship whenever I want a penthouse that I own and my helicopter can drop me off there anytime I want from my mountain house or wherever we are.

Wendy
I want to meet Ellen and be on her show and have her surprise me.  Any surprise really.  She is so fun and I bet I would cry.

Shawn
I want to play a round of golf with Tiger Woods

Wendy
I want to make a movie that is awesome that no one would ever be able to guess the outcome for before the movie ends.  I guess every movie and it sucks so I guess I have to take matters into my own hands and just make one myself.  That also means that I’d know what was going on from the get go but at least everyone else wouldn’t be able to guess so that would be almost as good.

Shawn
I want a 3-4 acre organic vegetable farm.  Maybe have a couple chickens and maybe a goat.  A couple animals.  I would plant everything myself and come back every season and give all the food away to people who needed it most.

Wendy
I would make sure that no kid or animal was hungry, homeless or abused.  Ever.  I could do that with 1 Billion dollars.  And I would be able to end all the ASPCA commercials that the kids and I hate watching because it’s so sad and depressing.  Problem solved.

Shawn
Good One!

Okay now it’s getting stupid.  You know what would be cool to have?  Canadian Geese because they travel.  I just think it would be cool to have a flock of geese that would go away and then come back every year.

Oh, and put little geese outfits on them too so when they are flying in the air they’d look like a cool gang.  Where you guys from?  We’re from Seattle Bitch! We’re wearing flannel

Wendy
I just want to never ever have to worry about anything monetary ever again.  Not for Us, the kids, our family.  Just live life and know we were good to go financially no matter what else can come our way

Oh, And cure friggin Cancer and other diseases by actually changing the food pyramids and making it a crime to produce foods that have chemicals in them.  Only natural and unprocessed foods for all so we can be healthier and live longer and get rid of all diseases because food is medicine.

Shawn
Good!  Um, I could get an island but I think we came up with enough.

I would like Lobster for life would be good!

Wendy
Yeah but the doctor told you no more shellfish because of cholesterol.

Shawn
I’m rich enough to cure any ailment that I have so I can eat whole lobster, the claws not the tail shit, for life!

Wendy
Sounds good.  Oh and enough drawn butter to go with it for me!

Okay, we are good to go I think!  Come on Powerball.  Let’s do this.

 

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