We are NOT keeping a Lizard – or are we? FML!

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Just a typical day in our house – or is it a petting zoo? Our killer cat brought in a Lizard!Lizard

Let me paint the picture…

I was in the bathroom, minding my own business.  The kids were upstairs doing their schoolwork and Shawn was out for a walk.

I hear Maddie (she has a distinct voice) make a special sound that she only makes when

  1. she has brought a visitor into the house and is announcing their arrival
  2. wants us to come greet the visitor – NOW
  3. wants to be congratulated for her conquest

I finished my bizniss and ran out of the bathroom while still zipping up so that I could see what Maddie had brought me.

She is sitting in the center of the living room with a WIGGLING LIZARD TAIL Sticking out of her Mouth!

I’m so happy that I’m one of those girls who has no problem with any kind of animal, bug or rodent – with the exception of a really badass looking spider.  Regular spiders are fine however.

I immediately tried negotiating with Maddie.  DROP IT!  No Bueno she said.  But she sat there, waiting for her congratulatory pat down with Lizard still in mouth.

I tried to grab it’s tail and before I could get a grip – Maddie opened her mouth to meow “NOOOOO!!!!!” to me and the Lizard tried to run for it’s life.

I yelled for Alex to come downstairs to help me catch it.  She was SOOOO Excited!  She loves lizards too.

I finally caught the little fella and Alex was almost giddy asking me if she could hold him.Lizard

Maddie was sad.  She was staring up at Alex holding the lizard as if SHE wishes she could be held too.Lizard 4

Alex decided to let Maddie see the Lizard.Lizard

Here is a super short video of Alex chastising Maddie.

And then, Alex asked me if she could keep the lizard and I said “HELL NO!  We are trying to get rid of everything and find temporary homes for the cats and you want to keep a damn lizard?”

Her smile didn’t waiver nor did the hopeful look in her eyes.

She asked where Daddy was so she could show him the lizard. I told her to go check down the street at Grandma’s house because he was out on a walk and said he was going to stop by.  She basically ran out of the house and down the street.

Upon her arrival my brother, Scott, saw what she had in her hands and immediately got the idea to try and Scare Shawn!  She was IN!  Too bad Shawn turned the corner in the house before they could surprise him.

He then asked to hold the Lizard and Alex was very clear with him that he MUST hold the tail tight.  Well he, of course, didn’t listen.

The Lizard LEAPT from his hands onto the floor and the shenanigans ensued between Scott, Alex and Shawn.

My mom wasn’t home or she would’ve been screaming!

It ran under one of their closets with tons of crap in it.  Shawn had to go and pull a bunch of stuff out to get to the Lizard.

Upon it’s reapture, Alex reclaimed it and then, with even bigger puppy dog eyes, asked her ‘daddy’ if she could keep him.

Yes! That was his friggin response.

They get home and proudly tell me the news of our new ‘pet lizard’.

I again protested but now BOTH of them were looking at me so hopefully.

I relented.

I found a container to put him in and told Alex to go to the store to get some crickets.  She was SO Happy.

For 5 Minutes.

Really.  That was all it took.  5 Minutes.

She came down with the lizard and said that he looked sad.

Alex released him back into the wild to probably be caught again by Maddie but this time killed and eaten.

Good Bye Lizard!



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